Alice in Zombieland by Lewis Carroll

Author:Lewis Carroll
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Published: 0100-12-31T22:00:00+00:00

How I wonder what you’re at!’

You know the song, perhaps?”

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.

“It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way:

‘Up above the world you fly,

Like a tea-tray in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle—’”

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep “Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—” and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop. In doing so, a bit of the little thing fell to the table—his foot, and Alice looked at it hungrily, her hand moving slowly across the dirty table toward it. The Dormouse saw it and snatched it back again, tucking it close to its bony chest, sniffing indignantly at Alice.

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Suppose we change the subject,” the Dead Hare interrupted, yawning. “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.

“Then the Dormouse shall!” they both cried. “Wake up, Dormouse!” And they pinched it on both sides at once, popping off two small dead chunks of its rib cage, which the Dormouse grabbed hurriedly, all the while watching Alice as it pulled them back to its body.

The Dormouse slowly looked around at them. “I wasn’t asleep,” he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: “I heard every word you fellows were saying.”

“Tell us a story!” said the Dead Hare.

“Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice.

“And be quick about it,” added the Hatter, “or you’ll be asleep again before it’s done.”

“Once upon a time there was a young queen who decided that all dead things should obey her every whim,” the Dormouse started slowly, eyes already falling back down in preparation for slumber.

“Wake up!” shouted the Dead Hare. “Keep going! This is my favorite story.”

The Dormouse jumped in its seat, startled by the Dead Hare’s loud voice. “Yes, yes, quite a story it is.” And it began to doze again.

“Oh this will never do,” said the Hatter. He reached across the table and pinched the little mouse until its whiskers flew up in pain and surprise.

“What did you do that for?” the Dormouse whined.

“The story,” they all three said at once.

“Oh, yes…where was I?”

Alice offered helpfully, “The Queen?”

The Dormouse suddenly leaped from its seat and looked around in terror. “Where is she? Don’t let her find me!”

The Hatter was able to get the Dormouse settled once again.

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